Inside the dark dreary house, Bea remarks, "What a jolly lil' place this is!" which informs us that her sense of judgment is almost as good as her English accent. Nina sees the Monstrosity staring at them through a window so she screams. Victor tells the girls to relax and shows them upstairs; they follow peacefully!?! Just a violent mutant with fangs stalking you, ladies, let's move along now, nothing to see here! The girls meet Mrs. March who coldly orders them in and inspects their bodies with her cane. For some reason, none of the girls run right out of the house screaming for help, a feature of bad films even to this day.
In the lab Dr. Frank diddles around with instruments as per usual while Mrs. March and Victor come down and notice the zombie woman awake and walking. The doctor considers zombie woman harmless and allows her to slowly wander around the place, like a roomba vacuum. Mrs. March demands that the doctor examine the young women immediately then bitches at Victor for not having cut the phone lines, in order to prevent the girls from calling for help.
Soon enough, Dr. Frank examines Anita the non-Spanish Spanish woman. She has a birthmark on her back, which prompts Mrs. March to call her hideous. Hey old bag, I wouldn't talk; I bet your legs look like an L.A. county road map! We cut to the Monstrosity outside as he howls; maybe he's crying to be given some relevance to the story. Nina, having realized that maybe the low-paying fast food job down the road isn't so bad, tells Mrs. March she wants to leave. The old coot threatens to cause her problems with the immigration authorities. Naive Bea gets examined by the doctor then by Mrs. March; she cheerfully brags "I have the same measurements as Marilyn Monroe!". Yes, Bea, not to mention the same life expectancy as well.
Everyone is pleased, and Victor congratulates Bea for getting the housekeeping job even though all three young women are staying put. Victor shows the women to their rooms; Anita responds with "Grassy Ass", to remind us that she's failing miserably at sounding Spanish. Now alone, Nina tries to use the phone, but discovers its dead.
Cut to the doctor playing with his dry ice machine for the 45th time; I don't see the need for the update since by now we'd all assume that's what he's doing. Another update clip of the Monstrosity wandering in the woods is shown while I check the timer on my DVD player to make sure I didn't inadvertently restart the movie.
Anita wakes up and gets antsy in her basement room, so she opens a door. I suppose she sees the Monstrosity as we get a close up of her screaming, though it sounded like the voice of a different actress. Jeez, Anita couldn't even fake a scream, much less a Spanish accent?
While polishing some cups, Bea and Nina wonder what happened to Anita. Mrs. March rolls by in her wheelchair and bitches at their cleaning techinques. She also tells them Anita left the house last night. To provide a transition, we are treated to ten more glorious seconds of the doctor fiddling with his dry-ice machine. Damn, doc, if something's wrong with it just take the damn thing back to the party supply store!
Transition complete, we now see the old hag in her room calling out for Nina. Nina doesn't pay her attention as she and Bea snoop around the basement, discovering Anita's clothing still in her closet. As this goes on, Dr. Frank gets ready to perform another transplant, this time with Anita in the dry-ice room! The narrator informs us that the donor brain will come from Doc's favorite cat! No, Doc, no! Not another Catwoman! That movie sucked!
Nina convinces Bea that its time to hit the road. They sneak out of their rooms and carefully move downstairs. Mrs. March, still looking for them, gets out of her wheelchair and walks downstairs. How do I know this? Because we are shown nearly every slow… old… step… down… the… stairs. Nina and Bea walk down another floor to the basement and search around. The old hag also walks down... the… basement… stairs. After trying to pry some door open, Nina and Bea retreat back up the stairs, followed by Mrs. March. I think do-it-yourself videos about stairs have fewer scenes of stairs than this friggin' movie has. Nina and Bea, still trying to sneak away, wind up right back in their room followed by Mrs. March, who locks them inside. The Great Escape this is not.
The old bag calls out for gigolo Victor, who now gets into the act by walking up some stairs. This movie would've run less than 20 minutes if they'd filmed it in a one story house. They discuss their plans to implant her brain in one of the young women's bodies. She'll then inherit her own fortune after her old body dies in a fire. Unnoticed, the zombie girl walks out through an open door; way to secure that illegal radioactive lab, guys! Mrs. March then pesters Dr. Frank again but thankfully we're spared her entire journey downstairs this time. The transplant turned out to be a success as Anita now acts somewhat like a cat. Some cat meows and hisses are dubbed in, as I'm sure the filmmaker didn't even ask if Anita could pull off a cat accent. Anita stares at then grabs and eats a mouse. We then fade out before discovering where she took a dump.
Back to some different movie where zombie girl wanders into the woods; the Monstrosity shows up and mauls her. Dr. Frank eventually captures and chains up Monstrosity, but not in time to save zombie girl. We learn that Monstrosity guy, finally named Hans, wanders the woods for security purposes; I'd have gone with a few dobermans myself but maybe I'm just unoriginal.
Inside the house, Bea and Nina discuss their options while they continue to clean things. I'm wondering why they keep working; the old lady obviously doesn't want them for housework, and it isn't like the girls want to keep their jobs anyway. Bea surmises that Victor is infatuated with her, so that night she finds him alone and gives him a kiss, which he doesn't turn down. Victor then delivers what may be one of the most un-romantic romantic lines I've ever heard: "Hans is chained, let's go outside!"
