We now see 'Kybo' emblazoned on our screen as we learn the party caught a riverboat in Africa and finally picked up Greg's trail, emphasizing to us that the whole India business was 95 percent filler. Crabby Wayne looks out a window on the boat and observes stock footage of alligators. We see Wayne react, or to be more precise, not react. Now there's a hippo. Wayne doesn't seem to find it any more interesting than the crocodiles. Next, a bunch of birds take off into the sky. Now I can't tell whether Wayne looks confusingly bored or boringly confused. He again bitches to Jean about continuing the search for Greg, even though they now have a lead. Jean points out to Wayne he's free to leave any time. Wayne moans "…fine time to tell me now with lions, alligators and savages all around me!" Bear in mind, Wayne is standing in a comfortable room inside a boat. Too bad he's not out on deck, where there'd at least be hope of him diving into those stock footage gators. He also tactfully points out to Jean that if fiancé Greg were dead, he'd have been buried long ago. A staunch believer in the 'out of sight, out of mind' school of thought was Wayne. Too bad about the 'guts hated by all' part of the deal, however.
In the town of Kybo, Col. Jones walks right up to Jean and settles into "creepily-close" distance, like the people on boxes of Kashi cereal. He reveals that they aren't allowed any further into the backcountry without a guide. What's more, "…the only man available is Gary Lambert and he hates women!" I think the Colonel has once again confused his dual roles; I think he'd be telling US the guide's full name. I can't imagine why Jean would give a crap about it, maybe she's paying by check? In any event, Jean dismisses guide Gary's superstitions about women; "Don't you worry, I'll take care of that!" If this were a pre-Hays Office film, I'd swear the point of the film is that Gary turns out to be the Amazon Queen and Jean is going to attempt to turn him straight.
We're introduced to our heroic backcountry guide Gary, who just turns out to be another slick-haired white guy in a pith helmet, like Wayne sans the shit grimace. He shoots target practice as the local Commissioner approaches him. You may wonder what the old Commissioner guy is the Commissioner of, but you'd be wasting your time in that case. All I know is he sounds like the love child of Sean Connery and Foghorn Leghorn. The Commish gives Gary the bad news that on his next job he'll be guiding a woman. Gary starts confusing himself with Wayne and the Colonel by complaining. He's superstitious about going through dangerous places with women in tow, with all their predictable helplessness and whining, though the only whining I've seen so far has come from honky males. Jean overhears some of this and pulls out a pistol to pick off Gary's targets. Sneaking up on people with a handgun and firing at shit - always a cute way to meet new people! Yes, for those who are wondering, as guide Gary and Jean 'meet cute' he calls her "Annie Oakley". Ugh. To be fair, this film was made in 1947, so this clichéd nickname had only been used 7000 times to that point.
This was just as entertaining to hear as it was to watch.
As if things couldn't get dorkier, we now have to meet Gary's trusted cook Gabby, who looks like the result of a Lou Costello and Fiorello LaGuardia DNA mash-up, leaving out the specific strands that supply intelligence and talent. You know those cheapo space movies from the '50s and early '60's and how they always had some comic-relief idiot crewmember from Brooklyn? Gabby the cook is your equivalent. We see him peel potatoes while he spouts a gibberish poem about a woman to his pet monkey. Gary and Jean convince him to join their quest, which he does but not after some character-building nonsensical dialogue about his monkey or some dumb crap.
While the gang gets supplies prepared for the journey, I mean, while natives prepare for the journey while our leads stand around doing jack shit, Commissioner Connery-Leghorn informs them that before he went missing, Greg was on a secret mission to stop some underground ivory-selling ring. To bring some 'humor' into the proceedings, Gary has his pet crow go get a match for the Commissioner's cigar, which serves to waste another few seconds.
After enough time has been wasted, the gang heads out on their journey, with some hired natives along to pull the supplies onto a boat. Col. Jones and Jean helpfully stand around and watch some stock footage of local tribespeople standing around and of some other tribespeople dancing. The Narrator, not the Colonel this time I'm pretty sure, describes how the tribe sticks bamboo shoots through their flesh, as a sign of strength. What was this movie about, again?
Someone's been picking at National Geographic's cutting-room floor.
Finally on the boat, we learn that they have already reached the end of the river, as they come upon "The Great Falls of Africa" as we see a smallish sort of waterfall in the distance. I'm fairly certain what I see isn't considered "The Great Falls of Africa", though, as I'd expect them to at least be taller than your average storm drain. The gang walks over to a tribal village where Gary greets the Chief, who he apparently knows, and asks him for 40 of his boys. I'm beginning to get the idea that Gary hates women for reasons other than what we've been told. The man playing the Chief sounds more like a Cheyenne chief than an African one but a tribe is a tribe, I guess. I should stop being so picky; they did cast a black guy in the role at least, so it's a step up from some similar fare I've seen.
The Chief agrees to hand over his "headman" Tonga and the boys "but first we have welcome dances for you." Of course, Gary explains that its good manners to pad the film, err, I mean, stay and watch the dances. No one bothers to point out that its also good manners not to fart around for days on end while one of your loved ones is missing and in danger. Nevertheless, we are treated to some more stock footage of tribal dancing. Judging by the music heard, this primitive tribe is hiding a whole orchestra in the background, with various horns, flutes, xylophones and everything else being heard.
The next morning, we are treated to more stock footage of African tribes in daylight. This will help alleviate the confusion of people who saw groups of black people in grass skirts dancing at night and thought we were in Norway. The Narrator, confusing himself with the Colonel again but still spouting the drunken voice, explains that they went to the marketplace and "bought the rest of our supplies". Why, I have to ask? We just saw them pack the fucking gross national product of the continent into their riverboat a day before, what the hell do they need from this tribe that they couldn't have found back in town? Light bulbs? I, myself, would quit the party at this point, figuring that even if alive, Greg'll be dead of old age by the time we got to him.
Finally back on the trail, Gary learns that the boys from the tribe fear Jean. Because she is a white woman, they fear she is the 'Queen of She Devils' and a 'White Goddess', which is simply ridiculous; everyone knows you have to give up the 'Queen' title if you want to enter the running to be a 'Goddess'. Apparently, the party stops after a grueling 5-minute walk. Some more 'comedy' ensues as Gabby argues with a noisy bird then his monkey jumps around, knocking pots and pans over. Gabby's pet was obviously misbehaving; maybe he should give his monkey a good spanking! Sorry… you knew it was coming at some point, I figure I'd get it out of the way as soon as I could. Anyway, the party calls it a night so we can be treated to some more stock footage of a tribal dance, since its been maybe six minutes since the last one.