The scene that follows is the one truly terrifies the viewer... Tom is at the pool club playing guitar and singing! Arch Hall Sr. attempted to make his son something of a teen singing idol and thus inserted several musical numbers into the film. Tom sings and plays sort of like Ricky Nelson would, if Ricky Nelson lacked looks, decent lyrics and talent. A few girls sit near Tom and watch him play and sing. I couldn't tell if those girls were drugged or glued in place. Roxy wades in the pool and looks so uncoordinated I think she'll drown if she lets go of the wall edge. Tom keeps on singing and playing his guitar while I realize the horrific fact that the song is going to play in its entirety. I notice that drums and backup singers accompany Tom even though we only see him and his guitar. The song seems to go on forever; weren't songs shorter in the sixties? What gives? After a full two minutes and thirty-eight seconds of musical torture and visual nothingness, the song finally comes to an end.
Poolside, Roxy receives a phone call from Mr. Kruger at the airport (Couldn't he have called about two minutes earlier? Bastard.); he delivers the bad news that the helicopter scheduled to pick up her Dad blew a gasket so he's stranded unless someone else shows up. She gets the info on where he's supposed to rendezvous. Roxy asks Tom "Do you know where Deep Canyon is?" I imagine that even 48 years ago, this had to have drawn some unintended giggles from viewers, at least the ones still awake at this point.
Roxy joins Tom in his dune buggy, which he finally gets to drive after whining about it earlier in the film. The buggy looks more like an old roadster that got hit by a bomb but it does operate so no harm. They exchange some banter, which sounds like it was recorded in an aluminum outhouse. More padding ensues; twangy beach music plays while Tom smiles and tools around in the buggy for at least 83 more dialogue and action-free seconds. If this weren't enough, some painfully shrill "wee-wee" noises are dubbed in to let us know how exciting it is to ride a piece-of-shit beater through some sand.
Roxy mentions that Dad is waiting so Tom finally drives toward their destination. For extra, intense drama, the dune buggy gets stuck in some sand for 15 seconds before Tom pulls away and continues driving. They reach the spot where Dad is supposed to meet them but he isn't there. Tom, in the first of many lame excuses to follow, says "Maybe we're early!" even though the designated meeting time has passed.
About four hours later, Tom is still trying to blow off Roxy's concerns about her Dad, by saying "You can't expect him to be right on the dot!" Tom grabs a rifle from his buggy, in case of mountain lions, he says. He continues his lousy attempts to comfort Roxy by pointing out that if lost, Dad will spot then walk toward their campfire. I don't see any evidence of a campfire anywhere so maybe Tom is just going over hypothetical situations. Roxy then points out that Tom shouldn't need a rifle, since the campfire would scare off any mountain lions. Okay, I'm gonna ask the both of you, just this once: "What fucking campfire?!?!"
Tom finally convinces Roxy to lie down on a blanket; this looks like it was Tom's only reason to drive out here, as he sure doesn't seem concerned with Roxy's dad. He then grabs an acoustic guitar (Oh no!!) and begins playing. I pray for a mountain lion to show up and claw at Tom's vital organs to no avail. He sings yet another lame, sugary song about a girl he loves. We hear whistling and other instruments, which are coming from invisible sources apparently. We catch a glimpse of Giant guy wandering around. He's this way, Giant guy! Follow the guitar sounds, Hurry! Run! Don't forget your club, Giant guy!
While the song continues to creep along, Roxy looks appropriately perturbed, then strains to smile, though I expect she was supposed to smile during this whole time. Tom's lips barely move while he gives us such pap as "If I had a billion dollars... and a banker's sal-a-ry, I'd spend it all on flowers... to give to Va-ler-ie... " Please Tom, put aside some of that billion for singing and acting lessons first! The song ends after a full two minutes while I internally vent my disappointment at Giant guy not reaching Tom first.
Tom blows off another worrisome question from Roxy and rolls over to sleep. His pocket radio kicks on by accident, so he puts it right back in his pocket like an ass. Tom and Roxy both fall asleep immediately and Giant guy shows up immediately. He eats some of the food sitting over their non-existent campfire. He moves near Tom and (as per usual) lifts his club up to attack. Unfortunately, Tom's stupid radio kicks on again, which causes the scared Giant guy to run away.
Our dim duo wakes up and notices the club that Giant guy dropped while running away. Tom throws the club about twenty feet away, explaining they "...don't want to be anywhere around here" if Giant guy comes back for his club. They then go right back to sleep where they are(!?). God, these people are so dumb that if the Giant guy doesn't kill them something else surely will, such as eating paint or diving into an empty pool.
In the morning we watch some more thrilling dune buggy driving. Roxy just happens to spot Dad's camera lying on the ground. Tom, becoming more ridiculous than ever, asks "Are you sure it is (his)?" Roxy wonders why it's been left on the ground. Wise Tom submits that he may have simply dropped it. Roxy asks, "Well then why didn't he pick it up?" Tom, who must be suffering from hair grease poisoning, answers with "If it's broken then it's no good to him!" and "Let's not jump to conclusions!" I now feel a bit sorry for disparaging Roxy earlier on, as she now seems like Stephen Hawking compared to Tom.
They continue on their journey and park near another mountain. Tom walks off with his rifle to search for Dad while Roxy reluctantly stays behind. We're now treated to 90 seconds of Tom wandering around intercut with footage of a snake also wandering around(See! Dad was right earlier! He just meant 'stock footage' of snakes!).
After that last blast of padding, Giant guy sneaks up on Roxy and touches her shoulder with his big tennis-racket hand. She, like most women in such films, passes out again. While going down the horn is bumped into and blares, gaining even dim-witted Tom's attention. Giant guy carries her off though, before useless Tom can do anything.
Giant guy reaches his cave and sets the still-unconscious Roxy down next to Dad, who is awake and sports a sling on his left arm. Dad says "Roxy!" four times, which results in her waking up in an instant. Roxy notices the sling on Dad's arm so she instantly grabs the arm while asking, "Are you hurt?" Okay, I take back that apology regarding Roxy; she's stupid again. Dad is of the opinion that he broke his collarbone, which is highly unlikely due to his ability to move his arms without grimacing or screaming. Giant guy notices them talking so Dad tries to explain that "Roxy is mine!" Roxy tells Dad "He understands you!"; I don't know how she came to that conclusion as Giant guy has done nothing but grunt with an emotionless face since coming into the cave.
In the first of several uncomfortable scenes to follow, Giant guy starts touching Roxy all over her shoulders and arms and smells her hair. Dad, who seems mostly unperturbed by this, advises his daughter to smile. He then borrows from Tom's 'ah, so what' strategy by telling her "He's just curious" and "He won't hurt you". Thankfully Giant guy stops then starts talking in his muttering style to the mummies he keeps in the cave. Great, he's not simply a dumb caveman, he's a retarded one to boot!
Giant guy grabs Roxy's arm in order to 'introduce' her to his mummy family. Who the hell knows why but she still asks Dad for advice. "It'll be alright, play it by ear, don't upset him!" is his predictable answer. Roxy plays along and pretends to talk to the mummies as I cringe deeper than ever into my chair. Giant guy then offers Roxy some of his big bone... that he was cooking over the fire. She pretends to eat some of it and the torture (on her and me) continues. I'm wondering, since Giant guy closed the small cave with a big boulder and has a campfire going, how much air could there possibly be for the three of them? I have an odd feeling this isn't going to be addressed.
We cut to Tom, still wandering outside. He sees a coyote for ten seconds then... oh, that's it, back to the cave. Dad tells Roxy that he believes Giant guy's name is "Eegah" because " ...that's the word he says most of the time." I don't know what sense that makes. By that logic, if Dad observed me watching this film, he'd think my name was "Lame" or "Shit". Dad, who is apparently enjoying himself at his daughter's expense, asks Eegah to bring Roxy some of his putrid sulfur water to drink. Roxy, who must be questioning her heritage at this point, strains to pretend to enjoy the foggy water.
