And now, another time-killing moment from our narrator: "Folks in Defiance never had much hope; they just tried to forget about the bad times... but there was one fella who thought about them all the time.…"
Thankfully, the narrator goes back into his hole or wherever before telling us about how the fella had to walk everywhere through two feet of snow uphill both ways, and was grateful. We leap forward about ten years. A young man is getting dressed as a frighteningly gruesome-looking hooker sits nearby (all the bright new clothing and lame sound effects, but they decide to go for realism with the hooker…great). She asks what his plans are, presumably after the vomiting and penicillin shot. He states he's gonna kill Bobby Randall, big-shot Clay's youngest son.
It turns out this aspiring killer is Tommy Cross, who is no more than a teenager, though he finally has outgrown his stainmaster-treated shirt. The actor playing him seems to be trying to exude the laconic personality of Val Kilmer's Doc Holliday in Tombstone, but comes off much closer to an average high-schooler who had a little too much nighttime cough syrup.
Over at the saloon, some guys play cards. Tommy bursts in and shoots Bobby Randall to death. On his way out he threatens to kill anyone who follows him. Unfortunately he isn't addressing the cameraman or director. Of course, Clay Randall isn't going to take this lying down, no sir-ee, so he sends some men to go hassle Will Cross, Tommy's sensible older brother.
Henchman Riley seems to have a particular obsession with turning this film into a drinking game, with him saying 'Clay Randall' in every damn sentence. First, Riley greets Will by saying, "We work for Mister Clay Randall!" Will protests and demands an explanation for them being there. Riley sneers, "You'll discuss that with Mister Clay Randall!" On second thought, a drinking game is a dangerous idea as long as Riley is on screen.
Will Cross is taken to meet Mister Clay Randall, who offers him 2500. to give him Tommy's whereabouts. On a side note, it looks like Randall has decided to stick with the grey hair for now. Will naturally refuses the bounty, so Randall says "don't cross me" in all seriousness. Will responds by keeping a straight face when he says, "Look, I know who you are Mister Randall!" Given the last five minutes, I no longer know anyone OTHER than Mister Clay Randall!!! Will wants to stay out of the whole business. Randall states that its good that he learned from his dad's mistakes. Maybe this lights a fire beneath Will, but Randall does make a good point, his dad really was a jackass. For some odd reason, Will is allowed to leave. I guess they plan on shadowing him in case he finds Tommy, but I would think that simply killing Will would bring him out of hiding.
Then again, that would get this story moving, and nobody seems interested in doing that. Will does indeed find Tommy, hiding out in an abandoned cabin with some prostitutes a bit better-looking than the aardvark that serviced Will. Easygoing Will is angry about Tommy's actions.
Oddly though, he asks, "What'd you think would happen if you shot Bobby Reed?" I went back to hear it again, and he does say 'Reed' instead of 'Randall'. Good God, man, didn't they drill the name 'Randall' into your head enough to remember it? I thought for a moment that Will was referring to another person Tommy may have killed, but Tommy retorts and says 'Bobby Randall' so I guess its yet another goof. Will is concerned about Tommy's 'sickness', shown to us by Tommy making a little cat cough sound, as if he had forgotten an earlier cue. Will wants to leave town and head far away until things blow over; hotheaded Tommy argues, but eventually agrees. Before skipping town, Will stops to explain the situation to his wife and asks her to go stay with her relatives. He tells her she can return to town one day, but she's worried, stating that "if I leave Defiance I won't be coming back!" What goes unexplained throughout this movie is what in God's name is so great about living in Defiance. The town is full of hotheaded morons, mutant hookers and dirt. I can understand the appeal of some magical force that apparently keeps everyone's clothing sparkling new and clean, but personally I would need more of a hook than that.
We next see Will out in the woods, waiting for Tommy to squeeze out a poop or something. Two guys sporting some new flannel shirts show up, a wise-cracking guy named Marcus and his fat sidekick Charlie. Will is wary of them, as he rightly believes they are seeking the bounty Mister Clay Randall has put out on Tommy's head. Marcus gets frustrated at Will's lack of answers, so he gently taps Will on the cheek. Will goes down as if George Foreman circa 1972 just nailed him with brass knuckles. I'm not sure if the slap was meant to look stronger, or if it was meant to show Will is a sissy. Anyway, Tommy walks up and surprises the bounty hunters who don't notice him until he's ten feet in front of them. He shoots Marcus in the leg and scares Charlie away.
Just in case the viewer may have felt this movie was settling down into a halfway-conventional western drama, Foghorn Leghorn's grandfather AKA our narrator shows up again to provide some less-than-necessary narration, stating that "The brothers took to the trail to escape Defiance but trouble was all they found", as we see the brothers riding down a trail, ostensibly in the direction of trouble.
We see the brothers ride around through the colorful fall leaves, winter snow, the green of spring then into summer again. This lets us know that they traveled a long time but what it really did for me was recall the cartoon scene of the knights' travels from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Will and Tommy have settled into a little cabin in exchange for working at a sawmill. Tommy is still sick, I suppose from tuberculosis but it's never revealed for fear of admitting his character is a blatant copy of Doc Holliday's movie portrayals. Some scrawny refugee from the Jerry Springer show walks in and bitches at sleepy-looking Tommy, who was evidently scheduled to be working. The refugee boss wisecracks, "You can sleep in the sawmill!", which, come to think of it, isn't such a snappy remark to someone you want working in your sawmill. Tommy sneers at the boss but Will tries to smooth things over. The scrawny boss is still angry though, and alters his previous snappy line, because it was so good; "if he wants to backtalk he can do it in the sawmill!". Maybe Tommy should've farted, just to see if the boss would say, "you can fart in the sawmill!"
Tommy relents and heads into the sawmill where the boss still continues to bitch and moan anyway. Tommy can't take anymore and throws a big rock into a garbage can, wait, I mean Tommy shoots him. Most of the shooting Tommy does in this film oddly happens with the gun held off-screen and with not so much as a blink or recoil on his part. On the good side though, this is the first justified killing in the movie so far. That boss guy was really annoying, and probably would've been even if he didn't act like he had imminent diarrhea. Tommy and Will hit the trail again, with Will complaining some more.
Next is a flashback of young Will in all his bright red-shirted glory. I can understand that many people in the Old West had little clothing, some with only one set, but it has been established his father was wealthy. Plus, even if he only owned one shirt in his childhood, why did it manage to stay so bright and clean at all times? I guess it just happens that every major event in the boys' lives occurred on the red-shirt days. This particular flashback reveals that young Will took on lots of responsibility after his boneheaded dad got himself dusted. Young Will went to school, looked after his forever-sick-from-something-unknown mother, his mischievous brother Tommy, and also tried to do work for some extra money. Meanwhile, we see young Tommy buying his first gun and burning down a barn owned by Randall, er, Mister Clay Randall.
Oddly, the youngster playing young Will is probably the best actor in this movie; that doesn't say much, but he doesn't force his lines like, say 95% of the other characters. Odder still, the next best actor in the movie is the guy playing the adult Will, who also does a decent job showing his character's constant stress of having to endure being the only male in the family that isn't a violent moron.
Back we go to adult Will and Tommy, who we find riding around in the woods some more. Then we see them come out of the woods. We see them approach a shallow lake; they begin crossing the lake; they cross the lake, and then… guess what happens next? They finish crossing the lake! Yes, it was every bit as exciting as I described. They take a breather from the action here and build a little campfire. Some fat guy walks to the lake to get water. The guy isn't looking for trouble, though he decides to get water right next to where Will and Tommy are. Tommy gets nervous, mouths off to the guy and shoots him, the smokeless, recoilless gun held offscreen of course. You know, if I were to make a movie that lacked a budget for blank bullets, I probably wouldn't write so many shootings into the script. Either that or I'd have limited my purchases of bright, shiny clothes for everyone.
